Brownielocks and The 3 Bears
present
The following
are quotes from various people all about teachers, teaching, our educational
system, school and students. Since I own a lot of joke books,
and other humor reference books, I found many of the same quotes in several of
them as I looked under the topic of "teaching" etc. The
publications range 30 years from book to book.
So for this page I'm not giving my sources because many quotes come from
more than one book.
Knowledge exists to be
imparted.
-Emerson
"The only
educational aspect of television is that it puts the repair man's kids through
college."
Joan Welsh
The teacher is one who
makes two ideas grow here only one grew before.
- Elbert Hubbard
I care not what subject
is taught, if only it be taught well.
- T.H.Huxley
I do not teach. I
relate.
- Montaigne
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world
Albert Einstein
When a teacher calls a
boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
- Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
In the first place God
made idiots. This was for practice.
Then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain
Nothing grieves a child
more than to study the wrong lesson and learn something he wasn't suppose to.
- E.C. McKenzie
Some student drink at
the fountain of knowledge.
Others just gargle.
- E.C. McKenzie
Education helps you
earn more. But not many schoolteachers can prove it.
- E. C. McKenzie
Schoolteachers are not
fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.
- E. C. McKenzie
Sign on a High School
bulletin board in Dallas:
Free every Monday through Friday--
knowledge. Bring your own containers.
- E. C. McKenzie
Education is wonderful
- it helps you worry about things all over the world.
- Joey Adams
In elementary school,
many a true word is spoken in guess.
- Henny Youngman
A good education is the
next best thing to a pushy mother.
- Charles Shultz (Peanuts)
It is hard to convince
a high school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult
than those of algebra and geometry.
- Edgar W. Howe
I was raised in a small
town. It was so small that our school taught driver's education and sex
education in the same car.
- Mary Sue Terry
Good teaching is
one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin
Education is simply the
soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.
- G. K. Chesteron
I'm not rushing into
being in love.
I'm finding 4th Grade hard enough.
- Regina who is age 10.
Once I'm done with
kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife.
- Tommy, Age 5
When I was in school,
one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher,
"I wish he was my kid for one day!"
- Milton Berle
It was a tough school.
The kids on the debating team took steroids!
- Milton Berle
One teacher recently
retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring,
dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the
students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of
a rich uncle.
- Milton Berle
The human brain is
special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until
you get to school.
- Milton Berle
For every studen with a
spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
- Milton Berle
Nowadays, when a
speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs---is that a promise or a
threat?
- Milton Berle
Education is what
survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
- B.F. Skinner
Education will broaden
a narrow mind, but there is no known cure for a big head.
- J. Graham
Quite frankly, teachers
are the only profession that teach our children.
- Dan Quale
It is noble to teach
oneself, but still nobler to teach others - and less trouble.
- Mark Twain
Teaching consists of
equal parts perspiration, inspiration and resignation.
- Susan Ohanian
If you think education
is expensive --- try ignorance!
- Derek Bok
My history teacher was
so old, he taught from memory.
- Henny Youngman
Too often we give our
children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
- Roger Lewin
America's future walks
through the doors of our schools each day.
- Mary Jean Le Tendre
I quit school in the
5th Grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn't
spell it.
- Rocky Graziano
The object of teaching
a child is to enable him to get along without his teacher.
- Elbert Hubbard
I forgot when I was
taught. I only remember wheat I have learned.
- Patrick White
Treat a man as he is
and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will
become as he can and should be.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A great teacher never
strives to explain his vision.
He simply invites you to stand beside him and see for yourself.
- R. Inman
We judge ourselves by
what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have done.
- Henry Woodsworth Longfellow
God forgive me for
having thought it possible that a schoolmaster could be out and out a rational
being.
- Sir Walter Scott
Education can get you
the only thing that really matters in today's world---an assigned parking space.
- Gene Perret
The toughest thing
about homework is getting mom and pop to agree on the same answer.
- Joey Adams
No wonder the teacher
knows so much; she has the book.
- Edgar Watson Howe
I'd like to say a few
words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education---show and
tell.
Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family
secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.
- Robert Orben
You can get help from
teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in
a room.
- Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss)
True terror is to wake
up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
- Kurt Vonnegut
A Minneapolis,
Minnesota high school teacher hung this sign under the clock in her classroom.
"Time will pass...Will you?"
- James E. Myers
You got to be careful
if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
- Yogi Bera
I've always tried to be
aware of what I say in my films, because all of us who make motion pictures are
teachers -- teachers with very loud voices.
- George Lucas
A teacher is a person
who used to think he liked children.
- Joey Adams
Teachers can change
lives with just the right mix of chalk and challenges.
- Joyce A. Myers
One of the troubles of
the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red
schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
- Bennet Cerf
The carefully fostered
theory that schoolwork can be made easy and enjoyable breaks down as soon as
anything, however trivial, has to be learned.
- Agnes Repplier
As the youngsters grow
attached to their teachers and classmates...they can finally say goodbye to
their mothers without reenacting the death scene from Camille.
- Sue Mittenthal
Teaching has ruined
more American novelists thank drink.
- Gore Vidal
Everybody is ignorant,
only on different subjects.
- Will Rogers
Academic vows:
Poverty, Bibliography, and Jargon.
- Leo Rosten
We need programs that
will teach athletes how to spell "jump shot" rather than how to shoot
it.
- Larry Hawkins
A good teacher has been
defined as one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
- Thomas J. Carruthers
What a teacher doesn't
say...is a telling part of what a student hears.
- Maurice Natanson
A good teacher, like a
good entertainer, first must hold his audience's attention. Then he can teach
his lesson.
- Hendrik John Clarke
Sixty years ago I knew
everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own
ignorance.
- Will Durant
There must be such a
thing as a child with average ability; but, you can't find a parent who will
admit that it is his child.
- Thomas Bailey
Education is a
wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash.
- Rita Mae Brown
Stand firm in your
refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is
no such a thing as algebra.
- Fran Leibowitz
The mediocre teacher
tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
- William Arthur Ward
Education is...hanging
around until you've caught on.
- Robert Frost
A lot of fellows
nowadays have a B.A., M.D. or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
Fats Domino
A 5 yr. old's
definition of nursery school:
"A place where they teach children who hit, not to hit,
and children who don't hit, to hit back."
- James E. Myers
I'm never going to be a movie star. But then, in all probability, Liz Taylor is
never going to teach First and Second Grade.
- Mary J. Wilson
Knowledge comes, but
wisdom lingers.
- Tennyson
Minds are like
parachutes. They only function when they are open.
- Thomas Dewar
Wisdom is one treasure
that no thief can touch.
- Japanese Proverb
The eggs do not teach
the hen.
- Russian Proverb
Children have more need
of models than of critics.
- Joubert
Education to be
successful, must not only inform but inspire.
- T. Sharper Knowlson
A smart mother suggests
that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he
bring a couple of aspirins.
- Evan Esar
The secret of teaching
is to appear to have known all your life what you learned this afternoon.
- Anonymous
Puberty is the period
when students stop asking questions and begin to question answers.
- Anonymous
There is no crisis to
which academics will not respond with a seminar.
- Anonymous
There is only one thing
that costs more than education today,
the lack of it.
- Anonymous
If the cost of
education continues to rise, education will become as expensive as ignorance.
- Phi Delta Kappan
The more whimsical and
cantankerous a teacher's grading system, the less the chance of her being
replaced by an Apple II computer.
- Art Peterson
More people than ever
before are graduated, but
not educated.
- Robert Gunderson
Good teachers cost a
lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.
- Evan Esar
A college degree and a
teaching certificate define a person as a teacher; but, it takes hard work and
dedication to be one.
- Paul McClure
"A
teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."
--Henry Brooks Adams
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
E.M. Forster
You
send a boy to school in order to make friends--the right sort.
Virginia Woolf
"There is a brilliant child locked inside every student."
Marva Collins
"The
mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher
demonstrates. The great teacher inspires."
--William Arthur Ward
"Ever
wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"
John Mendosa.
"The
art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery."
--Mark Van Doren
"Good
teaching is one-forth preparation and three-fourths theatre."
Gail Godwin
"Better
than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher."
--Japanese proverb
Education
is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
B.F. Skinner
"Information
is the currency of democracy."
--Ralph Nader
"Anyone
who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps
learning stays young."
--Henry Ford"
A
teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."
Henry B. Adams
"In
a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of
us would have to settle for something less."
--Lee Iacocca
"Be
all that you can be. Find your future--as a teacher."
--Madeline Fuchs Holzer
I was
asked to memorize what I did not understand; and, my memory being so good, it
refused to be insulted in that manner.
Aleister Crowley
"Education
is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."
William Butler
Yeats
A.S. Neil
"What
sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul."
Joseph Addison
Education is hanging around until you've caught on.
Robert Frost
Education...has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
"You
know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if
you have lost a friend."
Paul Sweeney
"An
intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
Edgar Wallace.
"An
encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order."
Mike Barfield.
"We
spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and
talk, and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up."
Phyllis Diller
"I
hate quotations."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Educated
men are as much superior to uneducated men as the living are to the dead."
Aristotle
"A
teacher's day is one-half bureaucracy, one-half crisis, one-half monotony, and
one-eightieth epiphany. Never mind the arithmetic."
Susan Ohanian
Nothing
grieves a child more than to study the wrong lesson and learn something he
wasn't supposed to."
E.C. McKenzie
"Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work."
Milton Berle
"It
is hard to convince a high school student that he will encounter a lot of
problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry."
Edgar W. Howe
"The
true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence."
A.B. Alcott
"Education
will broaden a narrow mind, but there is no known cure for a big head."
J. Graham
"The
perfect method of learning is analogous to infection.
It enters and spreads."
Leo Stein
"I
am teaching...It's kind of like having a love affair with a rhinoceros."
Anne Sexton
"I
am always ready to learn although,
I do not always like being taught."
Winston Churchill
"Schoolteachers
are not fully appreciated by parents
until it rains all day Saturday."
E.C. McKenzie
"Don't
despair of a student if he has one clear idea."
Nathanial Emmons
"It
is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot irreverence to
their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question
it."
Jacob Bronowski
"Too
often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve."
Roger Lewin
"America's
future walks trough the doors of our schools each day."
Mary Jean Le Tendre
"The
object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without his
teacher."
Elbert Hubbard
"I
forget what I was taught.
I only remember what I have learned."
Patrick White
"Education:
A succession of eye-openers each involving the repudiation of some previously
held belief."
George Bernard Shaw
"A
teacher should be sparing of his smile."
William Cowper
"Education
is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know,
about something you do not want to know."
G.K. Chesterton
"Much
that passes for education...is not education at all but ritual.
The fact is that we are being educated when we know it least."
David P. Gardner
"Everybody
is ignorant, only on different subjects."
Will Rogers
"A teacher's constant task is to take a roomful of live wires and see to it
that they're grounded."
E.C. Mckenzie
"A
good teacher has been defined as one who makes himself progressively
unnecessary."
Thomas J. Carruthers
"The
aim of education should be to teach the child to think,
not what to think."
John Dewey
"What
a teacher doesn't say...is a telling part of what a student hears."
Maurice Natanson
"Teaching
is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition."
Jacques Barzun
"There
must be such a thing as a child with average ability;
But, you can't find a parent who will admit that it is his child."
Thomas Bailey
"If
we succeed in giving the love of learning,
the learning itself is sure to follow."
Sir John Lubbock
"Education
can not be conferred.
Whether in school or out, learning is a do-it-yourself proposition."
Wheeler McMillen
"Thinking
is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in
it."
Henry Ford
"Minds
are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."
Thomas Dewar
"Wisdom
is one treasure that no thief can touch."
Japanese Proverb
"Children
have more need of models, than of critics."
Joubert
"Good
teachers never say anything. What they do is create the conditions under which
learning takes place."
S.I. Hayakawa
"Education,
to be successful, must not only inform, but inspire."
T. Sharper Knowlson
"Experience
is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience."
Evan Esar
"It
is not the IQ but the I WILL that is most important in education."
Anonymous
"If
the cost of education continues to rise, education will become as expensive as
ignorance."
Phi Delta Kappan
"Encourage
spontaneity...by regularly scheduling creative activities."
Art Peterson
"Inside
every C+ student is a B- student trying to get out."
Art Peterson
"Back
in the old days, it was the student rather than the teacher who had to explain
why they could not read."
Cy N. Peace
"Knowledge
is like money. If you keep quiet about it, people will think you've got more
than you have."
Anonymous
"Education
makes people easy to lead but difficult to drive;
easy to govern, but impossible to enslave."
Lord Brougham
"To
teach is to learn twice over."
Joseph Joubert
"Experience
is a hard teacher because she gives the test first,
the lesson afterward."
Vernon Law
"Books
are not men and yet they are alive.
They are man's memory and his aspiration,
the Link between his present and his past,
the tools he builds with."
Stephen V. Benet
"A
college degree and a teaching certificate define a person
as a teacher, but it takes hard work and dedication to be one."
Paul McClure
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